Guis I’m a mess.
Get ready. We’ve got more future anxiety.
So I’ve been at this magical university for 4 weeks. Yes, that’s all it takes for me to freak out. Our first assignment in our first class is a paper about what we want to do for our career. I want to be a sound editor for film. I want to find the right piece of music and put it in the perfect place and make it the perfect volume and richness and all that. Crazy me, I decided I wanted to go to college for it and am now realizing… I’m in the minority. The other day I interviewed a fairly prominent owner/producer/engineer for this paper. I was supposed to interview someone in sound editing but I was never going to pass up the opportunity to interview this guy. I was fascinated by all of his advice and the answers to the questions I gave him were detailed and thought-provoking… That’s never good. His basic theme was this. I won’t read your resume. I don’t care about your qualifications. I don’t care what school you went to or even if you went. It’s all just words on a page. You need confidence, charisma, and passion.
Yeah that scared me out of ever in a million years wanting to be a producer. It’s a good thing that’s not what I want to be. Still, the idea that this guy never went to college and was an audio engineer (I want to be a sub-genre of audio engineer) and is now an amazingly successful owner of a majorly successful studio… that may have hit me a bit.
So I tried to brush off my feelings and focus on all my mounds of homework but I had lost a little momentum. Now my brain is asking me, is all this really important? Do I really need to deal with this 10 page paper? Do I really need to spend my money on supplies for my Photoshop project? And why do I have a Photoshop project when my future goals don’t involve Photoshop at all?
I buckled down, finished an interactive map that was due the next day and went to sleep. The next day I felt a nice bit more confident. I love school. I love this learning. And sure I’m going to be here a year longer than everyone else because I didn’t get into the most important class… But what’s a year more? It just means I’ll be less stressed. I have my whole life.
So I get to class, I deal with everyone’s stress about this paper. I listen to the lecture on the history of audio recording.(Crazy interesting, btw.) And I go to my next class. At CSUDH we get about a 15 minute passing period. It’s a long time. So all of the DMA majors bond over teachers and projects. I told them about my interview and they stopped me about halfway through and wanted to know how I got an interview with this guy. None of them had been able to find anyone and were planning on forgoing the interview altogether. I told them that my cousin, Jill, is the co host on wipe out and I asked her to see if she could find someone. At this point they have realized that I have connections. My family has many separate connections to the film industry. And their first question is… Why are you here? If you have connections, why not just go get your internship? It’s then that I realize the reason everyone else is here is because they get definite internships by the end. I have an internship lined up already. I wasn’t going to actually intern until my fourth semester but it’s still there when I want it.
So now, here I am. I’m freaking out. I’m not saying I want to drop out at this second or even this year. I’m just wondering if I actually need a full fledged degree. Do I need to be here for three years and stressing about papers and Photoshop (which I will almost never use after I graduate) when I could get some guidelines from this school year, intern, and be in my dream job working the front lines 2 years before I would if I stayed?
Help me tumblr. You’re my only hope.